A Demon's Affairs: Rin's pain
by Nex415
Summary: Sesshomaru is looking for a partner, and its tearing Rin apart. She runs away only to return when she turns 17 only to find Sesshomaru with Kagura. What is going to happen next?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha doesn't belong to me or any of these characters because if they did, the show would have a hell of a lot more Sesshomaru appearances.   
**

**Affairs of Demons and Humans: Rin's diary **

**"Rin." His toneless voice crept from my ears down to my soul. **

**"Yes my lord?" I bowed. Many would call me crazy for traveling with a demon but he wasn't just any demon, he was my savior. A few years ago I was killed by bandits. Me and my family were slaughtered. He brought me back to life. **

**Many question why a twelve year old would follow such a creature. My answer is simple, because I choose to. **

**Lately my master has been busy with certain affairs. To name one out of many, Kagura the wind demon. **

**It began in autumn. I played with the dead leaves that fell on the ground. To settle and cope with life I messed with master Jaken just to hear him scream. It makes me laugh. Suddenly we both fell silent as Lord Sesshomaru unsheathed his sword. Trouble brewed.**

**Kagura the wind demon appeared from the bushes. My lord got up and walked towards her.  
**

**"Stay here." He ordered without looking back.  
**

**They both disappeared into the forest. Moments had passed and my lord remained absent. **

**"Master Jaken I'm thirsty." I lied. He sneered and I left. I took the opposite side of the bush as my lord so Jaken wouldn't suspect a thing. Once in I trailed the demon's steps. It was easy to follow Kagura's voice. Who can ignore such an annoying tone?**

**I hid behind trees cautious not be caught by Sesshomaru.**

**"Always traveling with a beast, a toad and a little girl doesn't it make you miss this?"**

**She dropped her Kimono. Her body was well developed. Heat ran through my body. What was this bitch doing?**

**She got closer to him. He looked at her without a care in the world. He kept looking forward. Then she kissed him. He didn't do anything. That made her want him even more.**

**"C'mon Sesshy." She pouted. He turned her back on him, leaned against his body, holding his neck revealing her's. She grabbed his neck and pulled it down towards her. He didn't move. She kissed him again only to get no response. He turned his back towards her.**

**"Put your rags back on." He commanded. His nose twitched. It seemed he had sense me. He disappeared. I knew I was in trouble when I turned to run away and bumped into my lord's armor.**

**"Rin." He said. "You dare defy me?" He stated in his usual tone but I knew he was furious.**

**"My lord, I can explain." I stumbled to find a good excuse. "I, I wa-"**

**"Choose your words carefully." He warned. He despised liars. Luckily Kagura interrupted. **

**"Peasant, human. What is she doing here?" She demanded.**

**"keep your questions to yourself." He answered dangerously. The now dressed Kagura took a feather from her hair and disappeared.**

**He gave me one last look before turning and walking away. I followed.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Once we returned I kneeled before my lord and asked him for forgiveness. In answer he gave Master Jaken a good beating. Upon returning from the woods I said nothing. I couldn't find the courage to laugh all week. Was my lord and Lady Kagura having an affair? Things only got weirder when I was left alone with Ah-un.**

**Sesshomaru took Jaken in the woods, probably for a good beating. He often annoyed him with unnecessary rants and mutters.**

**The wind demon returned. "Kagura." I hissed.**

**"My, your ugly." She laughed. "How can a pathetic little human such as yourself be seen traveling with a majestic figure like Sesshomaru?"**

**"Lord Sesshomaru is-" I started only to be cut off with her annoying laugh.**

**"You even call him Lord Sesshomaru! How pathetic. He doesn't even let you call him by his formal name!" She laughed harder. **

**This was true. I never wanted****to call him just Sesshomaru. The feeling was awkward. He who saved me from the grave needs a greater title. Tears wanted to fall but I wouldn't let them. _Bitch leave me alone! _I wanted to scream. I looked at the woods waiting for my lord to return. Kagura noticed.**

**"Aw waiting for protection little girl?" She seemed to know where to hit me. "For your information me and Sesshomaru were great lovers before you came in the picture. He would visit me daily when he and Naraku worked together. I love him just as much as he loves me. So keep that in your stupid little head." She insulted me. She was just about done with my heart. "And we still want each other." She finished. My heart sank. She walked behind me. Pulled out a feather from her hair and annoyingly popped it to life size behind my back.**** "Rumor has it, he's looking for a partner. Kikyo has been looking for him as well." She left.**

**  
My heart sunk deeper. My knees found the ground, along with my tears. I heard the two demons approach. Without finding time to run to Ah-Un's and play or act casual, I took a deep breath and nested my head. Pretending to sleep I seemed to have fooled them. That or they just didn't seem to care. Either way I was untouched for the rest of the night.**

**Winter came a couple of weeks later. We took refuge in a cabin provided by Lady Kikyo. She and my lord seemed to have a great understanding because although both didn't say much, their conversation seemed eternal in their gaze. **

**"Rest." He comanded. The room was warm. The blankets were delicious. We all rested. Finally I saw Kikyo rise and looked at Sesshomaru. He got up and followed. They entered the next room. **

**_"He's looking for a partner."_ The poisonous words of Kagura rung in my head.**

**Moments later I could hear Kikyo's moans. I could only imagine what was happening. That wasn't the first time since a few months I went in the forest to look for my lord only to find him and another demon dressing after moments alone. I was disgusted. My pain got bigger. I found a small dagger. It seemed to have been abandoned. I took the sheath and undressed the blade. I placed it on my wrist and bled. I fainted. A few moments later I woke to realize that he was still with her. I leaned my head on the door only hear deep breathing. They slept. **

**I gently opened the door and left.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Luckily there was a village near by. I didn't want to see my lord for while. That didn't stop me from thinking about him years later. I waited for him to get me but he never came. I was cared for by an elder. A wise old woman named Kana. Lady Kana grew in my heart like a mother. She was the only one who witnessed my joy, for I dared not share that joy with others. I was often the outcast. **

**By the age of 17 I had many men coming for me, asking for my hand in marriage. I rejected all of them. My heart still beated for the heartless demon. The one whom looked like an angel. He who had forgotten me. **

**The old woman died of old age. And I left. Before leaving the village I slid my wrists and stabbed my belly. I walked and bled. **

**I left at night so no one would notice. I knew without protection I would last five minutes outside which is why I preferred death. **

**Sure enough a few blocks passed before I died. **

**I saw the mist of the grave the one I was once about to be apart of many years ago. After my family slaughter. And before passing through the gate I was once again awoken. **

**The faces were familiar. An angel like demon with a toad and the drawn Tenseiga. Lord Sesshomaru. My body was weak and frail. **

**I smiled. He hadn't have seem to remember me. It seemed my smell changed since it clashed with the stench of other humans. He walked away.**

**"Lord Sesshomaru." I whispered as he passed. He stopped in his majestic tracks. I had changed into a woman and he had stayed the same. He stared at me for a while. Not once loosing his posture. He looked at me. His expressionless face seemed to have added a spark to his intense eyes yet he showed no emotion. **

**"Rin." He simply said. Turned around and walked away. "Come." **

**I followed. I was willing to forget the past. Willing to forgive him. That night, I realized he had chosen an accomplice. Kagura. She leaned against a tree. Master Jaken obviously annoyed her and Ah-Un disgusted her. When I saw Ah-Un he seemed so happy to see me. Both heads grinned. The reptile rubbed its scaly skin against my hand, I smiled and petted him.  
**

**"You!" Kagura was not pleased. I enjoyed her envy. She wanted to speak to Sesshomaru about me. Trying to convince him to change his mind about me, but he didn't want to hear it. He sat against the tree in his usual pose. Kagura snuggled against him. He paid no attention to her as his eyes settled on me. He studied my change. My body gently shook. I didn't want him to notice I was cold. The spring weather was currently chilly.**

**"Rin." I heard his commanding voice call my name. It stirred my soul, in a way only he knew how to do. "Rest." He settled. **

**"Yes my lord." I bowed and tried to sleep but I needed warmth. All of a sudden some type of cloth fell on me. The patterns were familiar. It was white with red flowers. The beautiful cloth my lord always wore. I could smell his sweet scent. This reminded me of times which I slept by him when I had nightmares, I was younger. **

**I looked at him. He was now sitting down with his eyes closed next to Kagura. I didn't want to wake him up so I rolled over and slept.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Kagura often left us at sunset. Probably out tormenting humans. Jaken was commanded to go get supplies, like water and wood for our fire. Ah-Un bathed. I liked bathing with Ah-Un. Although he didn't speak he seemed to really understand me. My bloody kimono was switched with a new one. Lord Sesshomaru brought me a beautiful pink kimono with silver jasmines. Kagura was jealous my robe was prettier than hers.**

**Sesshomaru often ignored her demands. I tried to stay out of their relationship dilemmas but Kagura kept pulling me in. She blamed me for things I hadn't done. Or protested about things I had gotten that she didn't get. Sesshomaru sometimes brought her nice things but he only brought what was needed. **

**Finally he was fed up with her. He gave her the choice of leaving. She cried. He didn't flinch. His emotionless stare made her run off. She returned with an apology. I said nothing. That seemed to have shut her up. **

**"My lord." I wanted to make a suggestion. Kagura was out. The sun was dying and the night approached. Again I was alone with Sesshomaru. Jaken was out looking for supplies and Ah-Un rested. He looked at me, leaning and sitting in his daily medative state. "Why did you not come for me?" I asked afraid of the answer. **

**"You left." He answered. Sesshomaru always gave me a choice. He never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do. That answer to me told me that he respected my choice and it was my own decision to leave. _"follow me if you wish."_ he often stated giving me a choice of following. I was disappointed. "You don't love me." I muttered gently bringing my knees to my chest and hugging my legs. I hugged my legs in front of the fire. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the night. I didn't want to speak to him I was mad at him. Furious! How dare he go looking for Kikyo and Kagura and not come for me when I left? I was unsure. I wanted him to come back for me. I wanted him to show me that he cared! Why? Was I so pathetic? Kikyo was a dead priestess and Kagura was a demon. But I… I was just…human. I was nothing. He hated my kind. He hated my people. He hated me, then why! Why did he let me be with him all these years? Why did he find me healing medicine when I was sick? Why did he get me clothes when I needed them? Why did he make sure I was comfortable? Why?  
**

**I cried. It rained. The pain was unbearable. I ran in the middle of the forest one night, Everyone was sleeping. Thunder roared and I screamed. My agony was covered by rain. At least I knew mother nature understood me. I held my heart leaned forward, fell to my knees and cried. Suddenly I heard someone approach.**

**"A demon." I wished. I wanted to die. I didn't want to live any longer. "I want to die." I screamed at the source. I didn't know what it was. I didn't care. **

**Suddenly it was behind me. **

**"Is that what you want?" He whispered. I gasped. I turned and faced lord Sesshomaru. My tears fell. The rain poured. His beautiful hair now wet. **

**He looked at me. His gaze was mesmerizing.**


	5. Chapter 5

**"Do you know what it feels like to see you be with another?" I cried. He said nothing. His silence angered me. Any other time this would have stopped me but I didn't care anymore. He was going to learn why. I didn't care if he killed me. I wanted him to kill me. What better way to die than by a broken heart. My gaze challenged him. If he was going to kill me, it was the least he could do since he had already killed my soul. " Do you know what you have done to my heart?" I continued. He walked away. His back facing me. "No! you don't because you have no heart!" I screamed after him. **

**My tears mixed with the rain. "You don't love me." I whispered as my eyes were set on the floor. He stopped walking. He turned around and walked towards me. His pace was a little fast. I couldn't help being scared. I knew I hit a nerve. I walked back. He continued, as did I. My back touched a tree and I was cornered. His empty face got closer to mine. Now a few inches away.**

**"I am heartless." He chuckled silently. His smile was very faint. His expression malevolent. This scared me. Despite my courage he still had a way with me. "You think my whole life has been care-less, with out emotion?" He got closer. His smile still faint. His right claw glowed. The green gas it exhorted melted the side of the tree I was leaning on. I was terrified. Suddenly my fear left.**

**"I will be honored to die in your hands. After all it was you who gave me life. It would only be fair." I looked at him. His face got closer. I didn't flinch. I wanted to show him that I trusted him completely. His claw stopped glowing. He grabbed my neck and slammed me against the tree. His lips brushed mine. "It will be my pleasure." He murmured.**

**I could feel his body press mine. It was delicious. My arms wrapped around his neck. Lips locked. I needed him. I wanted him. His armor fell, clothes still on.**

**"I will never leave you." I moaned. Memories of my childhood flashed before my eyes. **

**_"I will never leave you!"_ Said a younger Rin. Innocent beauty.**

**"Never" I moaned. He stopped. The sun was rising. He looked at me. **

** "Choose your words carefully, and state what you really want."  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**We left the forest. How can he have so much power over me if all he does is tease me? I asked myself. Kagura was up. She first looked at Sesshomaru, then me. I sensed her plot.**

**Many would just say it was my imagination but for some reason I saw my lord lick his lips. He casually rose his arm, fingers facing him and gently licked his lips! I saw it! Did he enjoy our kiss as much as I did? Or was it all just a dream?**

**One day I was ordered to get firewood since Master Jaken was already getting the water. I heard a noise around the bushes, suddenly I felt someone pounce on me. He slammed my head on the ground while he tried to seal my lips with his hand. My kimono was ripped open. I knew what his intentions were.**

**I shut my eyes and tried to kick him off but I couldn't. Lord Sesshomaru! I tried to scream but it was useless. He parted my legs as I squirmed. I finally looked at him. He was a dirty bandit! His foul stench made me sick! I felt something hard between my legs and suddenly he stopped moving. His body jumped. It seems something was thrown to his back. I heard chains pull back and suddenly I was face to face with the demon hunter that was once enslaved by Naraku.**

**As soon as the bandit was pulled off of me I leaned forward and fell into a state of shock. I didn't have the courage to formally re-unite with him. I cried. He hugged me.**

**"It's Okay miss." He said. His kind words uselessly tried to comfort me. If it wasn't for this young man my virginity would have been ripped away. Raped…**

**"Kohaku." I managed to say between sobs. He looked at me.**

**"Rin?" He was shocked. I was too. He had really grown to be something else. When I met him he was off killing innocent people. Now he killed demons. I hugged him. We were separated when someone grabbed Kohaku's shoulder and pushed him away from me.**

**Sesshomaru was furious. How dare I be with another? Where the thoughts he was probably thinking. He pounced on Kohaku. His hand started to glow. I knew he could have drawn his sword and have him die quickly but in this occasion he wanted to make him suffer.**

**"I saved her Sesshomaru!" Kohaku sneered. "She was about to be raped by a bandit!" Suddenly he looked straight at my lord. "Where were you? Where were you when she needed you?" He questioned. It made me think. Where was he? Surely he could have sensed the danger.**

**"Mind your own business." His hand stopped glowing. He looked at me. I wiped my face with my now torn kimono. "Rin." His voice hinted apology but his face remained straight. "Come." His command was cold. How can he look at me and not even offer consolation? My throat burned with the knot of jealousy. I gave Kohaku one last look. He walked away as well.**

**As soon as we returned to our resting area Sesshomaru left. Kagura laughed.**

**"You cant even take care of a beautiful kimono!" Her cold words were the last thing I wanted to hear but I wasn't affected by them. I couldn't even hear them since the disgusting feeling in between my legs kept haunting me.**

**When Sesshomaru returned he brought me back an even lovelier kimono. It was Satin. The flowers came to life. They were golden. But the kimono itself was red. I looked like a queen. His queen, I hoped.**

**I couldn't sleep all night. I kept waking up. I finally crawled to my lords feet and he opened his eyes. He looked straight ahead but I could feel his thoughts on me.**

**"What's wrong?" He asked without the slightest hint of care in his tone.**

**"Forgive me my lord." I bowed. "I cant sleep." He opened his right arm and welcomed me. I felt his patch of fur wrap around me. It was the best night of my life. I was so comfortable. My arm crawled up to his chest and seeped inside his kimono. I gently tested it to see if he would mind. He didn't. That night I slept like a baby.**

**"The sun rises in your eyes when I look at you  
Though you show no emotion I know it exists within you  
Without the slightest care in the world you hide behind stone  
But I see you behind that diamond which hides you."**

**The dream was confusing. Wolfs killing me. Mist wrapping itself around me pulling me to the netherworld and you. Your hand pulling me back to life.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I woke up. My lord was still sleeping. He was so beautiful. The morning sun lit his face up and kissed his hair. His chest was warm. I realized my hand was still in-between his clothes. His heart beated gently. It was slow, almost dead. Demon hearts had different rhythms than human hearts. Kagura slept next to him.**

**I was the first to wake. Everyone else slept. Master Jaken was on the floor. His little body was spread like a star. Ah-Un slept next to him.**

**I looked at Sesshomaru. His eyes remained closed. I slid my hand out of his robes. Both of my knees were planted on the floor. I looked at him. My hands were gently placed on his face. They cupped his cheek bones. All I could feel was the adrenaline rushing. My heart beated fast. My body was numb. I didn't want to bother his dreams. I wondered what he dreamt about as I stared at his lips. I got closer, his eyes remained shut.**

**Sesshomaru's Story  
**

**I could feel her getting closer. My lips were pressed. Kagura stirred by my side. Rin breathed on my lips. Her lips warmed mine. I caught her scent. The swift of jasmine, daisies, and lilies covered my nostrils. Her soft touch, smooth on my face. I didn't bother moving her arm off my chest last night because it felt good. I could feel her gentle hand play. Tangling the hair that fell on my chest with her sweet fingers. It draped from my head to my chest. My long white hair. I intended to pull it back but decided to leave it there since she wanted to play with it.**

**I knew Kagura wanted me and although Kikyo was a good lover she wasn't great. Not that Kagura was. I was only with her for information. Kagura's information was very valuable. She often spilled the scoop when she ranted. What better way to get this information than keeping her close?**

**5 years ago**

**I stepped out of Kikyo's dormitory and scanned the room. Someone was missing. I caught the scent of blood. Rin was absent. Jaken woke. I kicked him and left. How dare he not stop Rin from leaving, what made it worst was the blood she was covered in. Many demons could smell it a mile away. How could he be so stupid not to realize this! Rin needed me.**

**I went to the closest village. There she was. An old woman attended her. Rin was unconscious but I knew she would get better. I didn't understand much of the filthy needs of humans but I knew Rin was better off with her. After all it was her choice to leave. I didn't want to keep her against her will.**

**I came back to my resting spot. I didn't speak. "Where did you go my lord?" I heard Jaken's annoying tone. I merely looked at him. He bowed down on the floor sensing a good beating.**

**I presented Kagura with jewelry. She decided to accompany me. I always knew about danger ahead of time without the use of my senses since Kagura was always giving me information about who was causing trouble. She was always up to date with everything.**

**Everyday Kagura gave me rest at sunset for a few hours. I often returned to the village which harbored Rin. I knew she was fine but I wanted to see her. The years passed and I visited her daily. Many times I would see her look outside the window. She seemed so sad and miserable. I wanted to go up to her and consolidate her but I couldn't because I knew she didn't want to see me. I knew she left me for a reason. Especially after promising to never leave.**

**I slept by Kagura. She often annoyed me but to her my expressions were all the same, uncaring. She didint know how much I disliked her. I caught the scent of jazmines, daisies and lilies covered with blood. Death was seeping closer. I got up. Kagura looked up. I must have woken her. Jaken woke up as well.**

**"Stay here." I comanded Kagura. "Jaken." His ugly toad eyes were still sleepy. "Come." Rin trusted him. I brought him along just in case she didint want to be with me. I didint want to intimidate her.**

**Rin layed on the fround. Her wrists and stomach bled. The netherland's demons sorrounded her.**

**"My lord." Jaken interupted. "It's just a human." I drew the Tenseiga. The demons were slaughtered.**

**Moments later she woke.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Her face was confused. She stared. I returned her gaze suttle not to frighten her. Mine seemed uncaring. Suddenly, she smiled. I continued walking knowing she would follow.**

**"Lord Sesshomaru." Her voice was faint. I stopped.**

**"Rin." I answered. "Come." I cleared. I continued walking. I could hear her steps follow me.**

**We returned to our resting space. Rin was shocked to see Kagura. She ignored her and ran to Ah-Un. He received a soft pet on his scales. Kagura was furious.**

**"You!" She pointed . "Sesshomaru what is the meaning of this?" I ignored her. My choice wasn't her business. After all it was her choice to stay. She was welcomed to leave.**

**I sat and leaned against a tree. I felt Kagura's body leaning on mine. If this would get her to stop complaining, I let her. I studied Rin. She laid on the ground. Her feet were cleaner. She seemed to favor bathing now. I often saw her bathe by the creek. Her scent was lighter.**

**Suddenly I saw her body shake. The weather had been a bit windy. "Rin." I tried to hear her speak. I wanted to determined whether or not she was cold.**

**"Yes my lord?" She was. She waiting for an answer. "Rest." Satisfying her , she faced the fire and tried to sleep. "Yes my lord." She bowed.**

**I removed my cloth, went up to her and dropped it over her frail body. She snuggled inside it. I was back to Kagura. Rin slept as did I.**

**The next day at sunset Kagura left to complete her daily doze of demon gossip. I sensed another cold night, so I sent Jaken to get more wood for the fire. Ah-Un and Rin bathed. I went to a nearby village. The village seemed to have royalty in town since the head mistress had high quality fabric. I knew Rin was going to wear that bloody kimono she had acquired from the peasant village she was in for five years. I went inside. The woman was absent. It was going to be robbed by bandits anyway.**

**I looked at her kimonos . They all looked simple except for two. One was glazy pink with silver jasmines, while the other was red with gold threaded flowers. I took both.**

**Upon returning I switched Rin's bloody kimono with a new one. She was happy. I love it when she smiles.**

**"How come she gets a pretty kimono and I don't." Kagura nagged and whined. I ignored her. "Sesshomaru you dog!" I looked at her. My face frightened her as it got so close. I leaned down invading. She stepped back.**

**"If you wish to leave," I stared at her." You may." I turned around and entered the forest, I needed to blow off steam.**

**"Oh Sesshomaru why do you do this to me." She wept. How pathetic. She left only to return apologizing to Rin.**

"**My lord." Rin's voice was sweet. The sun was dying and Kagura was no where to be seen. Rin was once again left alone with me. I knew I intimidated her. My intention wasn't that but I seemed to have that affect on others. Jaken was off in the woods collecting fire wood. Ah-Un rested by the stream. He seemed to favor that spot. The fire in front of Rin was dying. I looked at her. "Why did you not come for me?" She timidly asked.**

"**You left." I answered. Come for her? How was I suppose to know she wanted me to get her? I thought she left because she wanted to live a new life with humans? Were I to know that, I would have barged into the village I guarded daily for five years straight only to get her back and keep her just like she promised. I was furious. How dare she asked that of me? Did she not know what I felt? I doubted it since my face was often said to be difficult to read. **

**The conversation ended. Her body told me she didn't want to speak anymore when she curled up in front of the fire hugging her legs. I didn't want to push the topic any further afraid of being unable to control my fury.**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Beautiful People! Yah I know I havent written in like a month but I just wanted to let ya know that it was cus my comp was not functioning properly. Dammit INTERNET!!! Anyway I will from now on write more regularly! Sorry about that! Anyway, without furtherado lets get on with da show!!! Cha Cha Cha! **_

_**DIsClaMer: I do not OWN INuyasha cus if I did more it would be called Sesshomaru! He he he, Ahem! ENJOY!**_

**The rain poured gently. It soothed me. Kagura was at my side but her presence was faint. I knew it would be a night of lightning the first time I heard the thunder roar. The second it carried with it a scream of pain and agony. I knew that voice. My body rose.**

**I scanned the area. Rin was missing. Deep in the forest she was on her knees. In pain. Quick to reach her I accidentally steeped on a seemingly loud branch. She turned my way. She didn't know what she was looking at as her expression was confused. Her eyes strained to recognize the creature she was looking at.**

**"A demon." She concluded. She wasn't afraid. She seemed content. It was confirmed. " I want to die." Something dropped in my chest. She wanted to die? Had I really made her that miserable? I wanted to scare her out of it. How dare she wish such things. I wanted her to fear it. Fear leaving me. Or was it my own fear? Was I the one afraid of her leaving?**

**"Is that what you want?" I stood behind her. She suddenly got up. Her gaze was locked on mine. The rain pouring down her face couldn't hide her tears. Her gaze was mesmerizing. I was careful not to show any emotion. **

**My worried hid deep within my exterior shell I did a great job in hiding it. **

"**Do you know what if feels like to see you be with another?" She cried. I gave her a warning look. 'don't test me Rin.' I warned in my mind. My temper was rising. I knew she had good reason to be mad. The only reason I was with Kagura was to get information. I was only with Kikyo because she told me of a rumor she had heard, which involved Naraku's Spirit possessing the body of a young boy. After his death I knew he was not going to silently go to the after life. **

**Kikyo didn't trust me and so I had to win her trust by seducing her. 'I did it all for you. The reason why I'm gathering all this information is because when Naraku first kidnapped you many years ago I was afraid. I wouldn't admit it then but I do now. I was afraid of losing you. Even with Tenseiga I only have a limited time to save you and what if he killed you without me knowing where to find you., only to learn that you had already crossed over to the after life and wont ever be coming back?' These thoughts screamed in my head but my pride won. I wasn't going to show weakness now that Naraku was close. **

**Rin waited for a response. I gave her a warning look. 'Drop it or else.' **

"**Do you know what you have done to my heart?" I was in war with myself. Any moment now I could feel myself breaking. My ego did the impossible to keep my profile from falling apart. Who would have guessed that I , Sesshomaru, Son of a great Demon, Now ruler of the Western Lands would break for the cause of not a demon, nor a life threatening duel but because of a human. A weak human! My head started hurting. My heart pounded in my chest. I could feel my true form emerging. I quickly found control. I gave her one last look before turning around and walking away. I couldn't be with her. Not now. I was in the brink of fury. "No you don't," I could hear Rin scream after me," because you have no heart." I wish I didn't. I didn't want it. **

**The thunder was light when I heard a faint voice unreachable to those of human ears. "You don't love me." All control I had, my perfect self, lost. The cold stone outer shell I had kept immune to all from penetrating shattered. 'WHAT!' I turned around and started walking towards her my paste was a little faster than usual. She was NOT going to just stand there thinking CRAP that was not TRUE! She had really gone way too far!**

**She started unconsciously taking steps back. Her gaze was on me. I could hear her heart pounding in such a fast rhythm. She was afraid. Finally a tree stopped her tracks. I leaned down. My golden eyes looked deep into her chocolate ones. "I am heartless." I stated. She yearned for those words. "You think my whole life has been care-less, with out emotion?" My fury transmitted into poison as I rose my now glowing claw. Unable to kill her I melted the tree next to her. I knew this would never happen but I just wanted to let her know not to test me again. I wanted her to think that this could have been her. **

"**I would be honored to die in your hands. After all it was you who gave me life. It would only be fair."****S****he stated. She thought I was going to kill her. There were days when I envied Naraku. The way he could easily kill his incarnations without a problem. I on the other hand had tried and tried to get Rin off my mind, but she had always found her way to be first on my list of priorities. I could never kill her. How could she not understand. **

**My nose caught her scent. Like always it was pleasant. I leaned closer only to be wrapped around her fragrance. Then suddenly a raging power took over. I felt all that was happening and couldn't do anything about it. My claw stopped glowing as it grabbed her tender neck and slammed her against the tree. She frustrated me and every time I had slept with a woman it was only under the thoughts of her. Yes, I fantasized her in my "lover's" place, but now I had the real Rin. She was not an illusion that later turned into Kagura or Kikyo once I was done. The weirdest about this is when she was twelve I had dreams of a young maiden who looked like her today only to later find out that it was she all along. Indeed she had blossomed into the very one I desired. **

**Her lips stole my gaze. They were pink and full. I pressed mine on hers. "It will be my pleasure." I purred. I wanted her so. Her hair trickled down her neck. Occasionally tangling with mine as the wind swept it. My body longed for her. Our spirits yearned to be one. Our passion found itself mist into the night's twilight. I grabbed her legs and parted them open as I wrapped them around my waist after my armor had fallen. Her arms embraced my neck. My lips pressed hers dangerously. I didn't want to hurt her, yet didn't care, because I know she wanted me. The delicious friction of our bodies forgot about the clothes we still wore. **

"**I will never leave you." She moaned. ****"Never." ****The phrase suddenly reminded me of what she had wanted earlier. Death. I stopped. Did she really want me or was it just in the spur of the moment? The sun had silently found its way up the mountains. The clouds had cleared. An obvious detail I had failed to noticed after being lost in Rin's gentle touch. My eyes found hers. "Choose your words carefully and state what you want."**


End file.
